I'll Be Good
by StevMarie
Summary: Levy has been on edge ever since Gajeel was accepted into the guild. Although her friends mean well they on seem to add to the tension she's been feeling. What happens when she accidentally runs into Gajeel at the guild and finds his book once he stomps off? What does he write about in his spare time? And of course, everyone wants her to read it out loud...


Levy stood by her friends anxiously, listening them speak but feeling far apart from the conversation.

 _Anecdoche._ She thought drearily to herself, looking from Lucy to Erza to Cana to Mirajane. She'd read the word in a book once, a sad word that stood for a conversation in which everyone was talking and yet no one was listening. And this was all this was.

Lucy was nervously tapping her fingers as she tried to brave through her usual cheery countenance. Her large brown eyes kept looking at Levy expectantly, waiting for input that wouldn't come. Mira would chip in, easily staying happy with her gorgeous smile despite hiding her apprehension. Erza sad closest to Levy, leaning almost protectively in her direction. She wasn't nearly as chipper but possessed her usual calm that had weathered so many battles. But it wasn't like Levy couldn't sense it; the magical build that all of them kept swelling up and down with the various passerby. The air was tense and Levy felt like she was going to be smothered.

Every once in a while, Levy used to feel lachesism start to settle in her heart. The strange desire to fall under terrible circumstance like the others around her. She'd always felt so protected by them all, never allowed to falter under their protective gaze as she grew up. Then Phantom Lord had attacked the guild, sending an acutely bloodthirsty mage to send a point to Fairy Tail that ended in her and Team Shadow Gear being hospitalized for weeks. Every time she thought about the incident she still shivered, sometimes even awoke from persistent night terrors that plagued her usual quiet evenings.

She was tired of so many things.

Tired of being afraid. Tired of the hateful tension that all of her friends carried around their shoulders in the weeks following the encounter. Tired of being guarded like a child who couldn't care for herself.

Tired of being the topic of everyone's conversation since about two days ago when someone new joined the guild.

"Levy," Lucy smiled at her, trying to look reassuring and talking calmly, slowly, the way a mother would comfort a crying youth, "Why don't you cheer up? I don't think he's coming to the guild today…"

"Lucy…" Erza's tone was like a warning, causing her to quiet and look down as if she'd said something out of turn.

"I'm f-fine, guys, really," Levy smiled as convincingly as she could, the fatigue still lingering in her voice, "I don't need you to guard me all the time. Isn't that what Jet and Droy are for, anyway?"

Mira and Erza exchanged glances. The air tightened, a noose around her neck as the silence spoke volumes. Jet and Droy had crumpled like paper that night; less help than if she'd been alone. And really, maybe being alone would have been better since it would have attracted less attention from the bloody eyes that had been surveying from the rooftops that night. She picked up her drink and sipped it shakily, her hands' trembling having been a continual agitation since her nerves were constantly being worn thinner and thinner.

How much more of this could she take, really? When would her acrobatics finally turn into the proverbial _snap_ of her spine that would leave her crippled and numb from the inside out? She couldn't stand the oppressing tension, like a bowstring that kept being pulled despite the cords slowly beginning to snap.

One. Fiber. At. A. Time.

"Levy, when was the last time you went on a mission?" Mira offered gently, her second mother swooping in to try and salvage what was left of Levy's positive thoughts.

"A few days…" she said slowly, trying to remember where it was she had gone. She had been commissioned to decipher a book and spent the entire day in a bookstore. She could almost feel the vellichor returning to her from the memory of running her fingers across the firm spines of hardback books. The smell of old paper was so therapeutic. Of course she'd opted to go alone and had spent so many hours happily keeping her mind busy with words and phrases and the gentle feel of the sunshine slipping through the large glass panes.

"Have you thought about going on another?" the platinum haired woman smiled pleasantly, "It might be better than being stuck here all the time."

 _…with him…_

Levy swallowed the nervousness that suddenly flared in her gut, forcing herself not to dwell on red, devil eyes, "Do you have any others on translating texts? Those are my favorite,"

"Well… no…" Mira's smile faltered, "But we have some others…"

"I don't feel like fighting," Levy said silently, "I'm just drained from it right now."

"Well of course," Erza smiled at her, flipping her red hair gently, "Its always nice to have a reprieve from violence. Only Natsu seems to like fighting all the time and even he needs a break from time to time."

"Thank goodness…" Lucy sighed, "It's so hard to keep up with him sometimes, you know?"

"You could always try to slow him down…" Cana grinned drunkenly, swinging her beer bottle around haphazardly.

"C-Cana!" Lucy glared, her cheeks flushing with color.

Cana burst into a fit of laughter, her drink slipping from her hand in the process. It tumbled across the table and splashed out towards Levy. She quickly scooted her chair out in order to avoid the foul-smelling liquid but she hit something hard in the process. She tumbled from the sudden stop, feeling another pair of feet get caught in the legs of the chair and stumble with her. She heard the sound of papers flying into the air as she hit the ground and she closed her eyes and brought her arms up to protect her face from the shadow that was falling towards her. A hard thump sounded from both sides of her head and she felt her whole body tense, readying for a collision that never came.

A few heartbeats passed before she opened her eyes, startled by the intense quiet that had suddenly filled the hall. She took in a quick breath as her brown eyes met with two large, rubies. Black hair cascaded down his shoulders in raven waves that blocked out the rest of the room. His face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath fall onto her like the breath of an angry beast as it stood over its prey. And she felt terror begin to bunch in her stomach when his mouth parted slightly to show two large canines just peeking out to gleam murderously at her.

The dripping sound of spilt alcohol was all she could hear besides the hammering of her own heart as he glared down at her, all angry muscle rippling from the effort it took to hold himself from falling on top of her while his legs were still tangled with hers and her chair. She felt a shudder make its way up her spine as he took a slow inhale, his eyes brimming with disdain and rage as they rolled to the side. She felt his hands on either side of her ball into fists and he moved his shoulders backwards, rolling them and causing painful popping noises.

Finally, after feeling like a doe being stared at by an angry wolf for what seemed ages, he spoke.

"You alright?" his voice was gruff, sounding almost petulant even as the fury in his eyes seemed to die down.

"U-u-um, yes… s-sorry. I d-didn't mean t-t-to…" she was fumbling over the syllables, trying to force her tongue into submission but it kept tripping over her teeth. She felt like all the color was gone from her face and her hands were clenching her shoulders protectively.

"No problem," he pushed himself up, "My fault,"

He thrust his hand down to her, the action almost vehement in its attempt to be friendly. She sat frozen, her eyes staring at his extended fingers. Despite the welcoming gesture she couldn't bring herself to move towards it. Memories of Iron Claws flashed into her mind, consuming her with violent images from those very hands. They were coarse and mean, used to combat and the feel of blood as it sifted across his skin. She knew those hands too well and the wounds were too new for her to forgive and forget.

She couldn't trust them to help her stand.

Not after how they'd torn her down so viciously.

"Tch, forget it," his voice startled her and she stared wide-eyed after him as he turned and walked away, his heavy footfalls the only noise as he made his way to the doors.

"G-Gajeel…" she called after him but he paid her no mind, just slipped out the doors and let them slam angrily behind him. She looked down at the ground, grinding her teeth against tears that were suddenly trying to surface, "S-sorry…"

"Levy, are you ok?" Erza helped her off the floor, her eyes stern and ready to pick a fight, "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No… I'm fine…" she said quietly, ashamedly, "I was the one who fell into him, after all."

"I'm so sorry, Levy…" Cana started.

Levy didn't pay attention. Her eyes were scanning the ground, not wanting to meet the murmurs that were filling the room around her. They were all critical, looking after the angry Iron Dragon with derision and sending worried glances towards her.

She should have said something to him. She shouldn't have acted to terrified. If only she'd been able to speak properly she could have kept him from storming out. Not that she should really care in the first place. This was Gajeel Redfox after all. Who could say if he was really someone that could be trusted despite Makarov allowing him into the guild? He didn't even act like he remembered her. But who would expect a cat to recall every mouse they'd ever caught?

 _I hate him_ … she thought drearily, _I…_

Her eyes widened as they fell on a book lying on the ground. She didn't bring anything with her today, which meant this had to belong to…

"Levy? Levy are you ok?" Lucy's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I… I think he left this…" Levy replied, reaching down to lift the leather-bound tome off of the ground. The cover was ratty, obviously used and worn. This was something he probably took around with him a lot. Levy felt disbelief made her heart flutter. Gajeel Redfox? A reader?

"What is it?" Lucy leaned over the table to see what it was, "A book?"

Mirajane wrinkled her nose, "I don't see him reading…"

"Maybe its some racy porno," Cana prodded, reaching out to snatch it from Levy's hands, "Let's see it!"

"Eww! Cana!" Lucy smacked her hands away, "No one wants to see that! What if its something kinky?"

"I say we open it," Erza's eyes gleamed mischievously.

"I'm a little curious too…" Mira's lips quirked slightly at the sides, "What if he's actually into poetry or something?"

"G-guys… I don't think we should invade his privacy…" Levy clutched the book close to her, "What if he gets angry?"

"Oh, come on, Levy," Erza quickly scooped the book from her arms, "How's he going to know? Besides, I can take him."

"You're the only one…" Lucy murmured.

Erza quickly unsnapped the buckle and opened the leather cover, exposing stained pages scrawled across in hasty writings and notes. Levy's eyes widened as she stared at the paper.

"What is this?" Cana's brow furrowed, "A different language?"

"I think it's draconic…" Levy said quietly, catching the eyes of the girls.

"Well, book worm," Cana shoved the tome into Levy's hands, "Can you read it?"

"I-I um…" she met the eager eyes of her friends and despite her apprehension she sighed in defeat, "Yeah…"

"What does it say?" Lucy pressed, looking over her shoulder now.

"Give me a moment…" Levy put her cheek into her palm as she scanned her eyes down the page. Different phrases were starting to jump out at her, form stanzas and she blinked a few times as she read, disbelief once again consuming her, "Songs?"

"Songs?" all of the girls repeated, confusion clear on their faces.

"You mean he actually writes songs?" Mirajane had a bit of pride in her voice as she spoke, "My guess was poetry… do I win something?"

"What are they about?" Erza's red hair fell past Levy's shoulder as she stared at the characters, "Killing things, probably?"

"Read some of it, Lev," Lucy looked at her expectantly.

"Um…

 _I embrace what others fear  
You are not to roam in this forgotten place  
Just the likes of me are welcome here_

 _…_

 _I share my world with no one else  
All by myself  
I stand alone_."

"Are you sure that's what it says?" Cana interrupted, "That doesn't sound violent…"

"Read the next one," Lucy pressed.

"This one's called _Glory Fades_ …

 _You don't recover from a night like this  
A victim still lying in bed completely motionless  
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper  
A boy dressed in tonics and sheets barely whispers  
This is so messed up_

 _He is the lamb  
She is the slaughter  
She's moving way to fast and all he wanted was to hold her  
Nothing that he tells her really having an effect  
He whispers that he loves her but she's probably only looking for s…_"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Lucy stopped her, "Is this about his first…?"

"W-w-we don't know that!" Levy felt her face begin to flush with heat before she muttered, "This is such an invasion of privacy…"

"That's actually really… sad…" Mirajane said with wide eyes, "She didn't care for him…"

"What's next on the list, Levy?" Cana said, flipping a few more pages.

"Guys… can't we just stop?" Levy sighed pathetically, "What if he realized it's missing and comes back?"

"Just say we were looking for a name," Cana patted her shoulder, "Just a few more?"

Levy sighed,

 _"Dear rabbit my legs are getting weak chasing you  
These snowfields wouldn't seem so big if you knew  
That this blood on my teeth it is far beyond dry  
And I've captured you once but it wasn't quite right  
So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me_

 _Rabbit my claws are dull now so don't be afraid  
I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave  
Yes I know I'm a wolf and I've been known to bite  
But the rest of my pack have left me behind  
And my teeth my be sharp and I've been known to kill  
But the thought of fresh meat it is making me ill  
So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me."_

"What do you suppose that's about?" Lucy spoke softly, almost as if she didn't want to break the silence after Levy had finished.

"I don't know… any ideas, Lev?" Cana seemed equally mystified.

"Well, assuming he's the wolf," Levy felt shaky as she spoke, the weight of his confessions through his words beginning to make her nerves go on edge again, but this time in an entirely new way, "I would assume his pack is Phantom Lord."

"So then who is he singing to?" Mira looked pointedly down at Levy, "Whoever is most scared of him?"

"Writing a song for Levy, huh?" a sly smile made its way to Cana's face, "Isn't that interesting…"

"We don't know that!" Levy felt heat rush to her face despite her words, "Besides, he doesn't even know who I am!"

"But he even mentions that he's 'captured you once' and he _did_ attack you, Levy," Erza stated matter-of-factly.

"Next song!" Levy said hastily, flipping over a few more pages, "

 _When I was a child I heard voices  
Some would sing and some would scream  
You soon find you have two choices  
I learned the voices died with me  
When I was a child I'd sit for hours  
Staring into open flames  
Something in it had a power  
Could barely tear my eyes away_

 _When I was a man I thought it ended  
When I knew love's perfect ache  
But my peace has always depended  
On all the ashes in my wake  
All you have is your fire  
And a place you need to reach  
Don't you ever tame your demons  
But always keep them on a leash."_

"Well that was… dark," Lucy's eyes were big, staring at the pages eagerly.

"What was it called?" Mirajane sat down, putting her chin on her hands.

"Arsonist's Lullaby…" Levy spoke slowly, pronouncing the words carefully.

The more she read, the more _human_ he seemed. The monster in her mind was slowly changing. The red eyes seemed less angry and more wretched, the harsh hands that had reached out to her now looked less threatening and more deploring. He felt trapped by his past and being in a guild where everyone hated him probably did nothing to help him. Makarov said he saw good in him… maybe she needed to try to as well?

"Flip to the last page, Levy," Erza pulled her out of her thoughts, "It's the most recent, right?"

"It's not finished," Levy muttered, staring down at the words. There were several places where ink was scratched angrily across the paper, marking out lyrics that he'd decided against. She noticed the tattered edges of ripped paper in the binding. Failed attempts that he'd thrown away, maybe?

"What's the name?" Lucy's brow furrowed as she tried to decipher the words, coming up short with a sigh.

"It says, _I'll Be Good_ ," Levy's eyes glossed over the page.

 _I thought I saw the Devil this morning  
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue  
With a warning to help me see myself clearer  
I never meant to start a fire  
I never meant to make you bleed  
I'll be a better man today  
_

 _I'll be good I'll be good  
And I'll love the world like I should  
I'll be good I'll be good  
For all of the times that I never could  
_

 _My past has tasted bitter for years now  
So I wield an iron fist  
Grace is just weakness or so I've been told  
I've been cold I've been merciless  
But the blood on my hands scares me to death  
Maybe I'm waking up  
Today  
_

 _I'll be good I'll be good  
And I'll love the world like I should  
I'll be good I'll be good…"_

Levy stopped, the words ending suddenly. She felt disheartened, like she was missing out on something wonderful. She let out a sigh, looking down at the off-colored sheets. Suddenly, all five of them stiffened when a gruff voice sounded behind them, taking all of them by surprise. Levy slowly tilted her head back, fear making her stomach tighten dangerously until she met two swimming, red eyes. He held her captive with his calm gaze and silky voice, keeping her from running despite the blush that was beginning to burn her face.

 _"For all of the light that I shut out  
For all of the innocent things that I doubt  
For all of the bruises that I've cause and the tears  
For all of the things that I've done all these years  
For all of the sparks that I've stomped out  
For all of the perfect things that I doubt_

 _I'll be good I'll be good  
And I'll love the world like I should  
I'll be good I'll be good  
For all of the times I never could."_

Levy stayed frozen even as Erza and Mirajane tried to offer poor excuses for their meddling. He didn't seem to notice their hasty words, only looked down at the blue-haired Script Mage with light interest. In a completely non-threatening motion, he reached past her and plucked the book off of the table and closed it, tucking it underneath his arm. His bloody eyes didn't seem as menacing as before, but so incredibly _normal_ despite the predatorial look about them.

"I didn't know anyone else could read this," he said at last, silencing the other women.

"S-sorry… I d-didn't mean to pry…" Levy felt like her face was going to melt off it was so warm, "I…"

"I have more," he said quietly, turning his eyes to the side so he wouldn't meet her surprised look, "If you're ever bored… since you like translating things…"

Levy was stunned. Of all the possible ways this could have ended, she certainly didn't expect this.

"…that is," he continued, his eyes shooting angrily to Lucy, Cana, Erza, and Mirajane, "If you can keep it to yourself. I don't want the whole guild reading these."

For the first time in weeks, Levy broke her signature carefree smile as she gazed up at the Iron Dragon Slayer. He seemed taken back by it for a moment before cocking a half-smile, his fangs gleaming playfully down at her.

"I think I'd like that," Levy smiled happily.

"Gihi, just let me know," he grinned down at her. To her surprise, he brought out his hand and let it nestle into her blue locks, mussing her hair teasingly, "Shorty."

"My name's Levy, Levy McGarden," she offered her hand to him, slightly frazzled by the whole encounter.

He took her hand, "I know yer name,"

She stiffened at his words. _He what…?_

"Later, Shorty," he grinned down at her, taking his leave for the second time that day and leaving the blue-haired mage with a strange sensation making her stomach begin to flutter. The girls stayed silent for a while, none of them knowing quite what to say after the Iron Dragon had left.

"So… he remembers you, huh?"

"C-Cana!"


End file.
